That’s right… more than 90%

In fact, it might even be higher! And I don’t throw that around lightly. I’ve been working in web and content design for 15+ years, and I’ve seen enough to say it plainly: I have never met anyone personally that knows what he or she is doing when it comes to SEO, let alone practice it in their career. I’m alloting that 10% of hope to maintain some faith in the human race.

I’ll tell you a story. The business name is obviously made up to protect the identity of an innocent, embarrassed person, but everything else is accurate, including the per month cost.

A few years ago, I was working with a small business owner here in Peterborough. He’s a nice guy who runs a popular niche business with virtually no competition. Let’s call his company Rowdy Roddy Piper Bobbleheads. He told me he was paying $700 a month for SEO.

“700 dollars a month? For what?” I asked.
“To rank #1 on Google,” he replied.
“Rank for what?” I said, mystified.
“Rowdy Roddy Piper Bobbleheads in Peterborough.”

I wish I were joking.

After I picked myself up off the floor, I pulled up his site. There was no real content, nothing overly helpful or informative. No title tags, no meta descriptions. Nothing that would influence search rankings in any meaningful way. And yet—he *was* ranking #1… because of course he was! Google wasn’t rewarding great SEO. It was just matching his business name to the search query. If Google wasn’t able to do that without any help, we’d all be Bing and Safari users!

When I told him, he didn’t get angry. He got nervous. Because the company he was paying? They warned him not to cancel. They actually told him if he cancelled, they’d go to his competitors and offer to work for them for free to kill his business. Yes, you read that correctly.

As if we didn’t already know, that’s when we knew. I asked him, “Is that the kind of people you want to be in business with?” I told him I guaranteed his ranking wouldn’t change. He cancelled. We build his new website, complete with relevant, informative content, metadata, locaiton signals, alt text, etc. His rankings didn’t change. Not even a little.

How “SEO” became a dirty word

Let’s just say it plainly: SEO has a reputation problem—and it’s earned. At this point, most small business owners hear “SEO” and immediately think:

• Spam email
• Pushy sales calls
• Vague promises
• Monthly fees with no clear results

And they’re not wrong. The industry is overrun with people selling something that sounds technical enough to be believable—and vague enough to avoid accountability. It’s the “Johnson rod” problem!

The “Johnson Rod”

There’s a Seinfeld episode (S06E21, The Fusilli Jerry) where George jokes about how mechanics and tell you anything they want. About how they can make up stories about what’s wrong with your vehicle and you have no choice but to believe them and pay them:

“Well, you need a new Johnson rod in here.”
“Oh, a Johnson rod? Well, ya, you better put one of those on.”

That’s SEO for a lot of agencies. They throw around terms like:

• Hundreds of backlinks
• Keyword stuffing
• Hidden keywords
• “We submit your site to hundreds of search engines!”

And most business owners don’t have the time (or reason) to question it. So they nod… and pay.

The most common SEO trick

Here’s the one I see all the time: “You’re ranking #1 on Google!”

Sounds great. Until you realize it’s for your business name + your town! That’s not competitive. That’s not strategic. That’s not bringing in new customers. It’s not even a smart scam. It’s the equivalent of saying:

“Good news—you can find your own phone number in your contacts.”

Why business owners stop believing in their own websites

After enough of this, something shifts. People stop expecting their website to actually do anything. SEO becomes:

• A box to check
• A monthly expense
• Something you “have to have”

Not a tool that generates leads. Not something that helps grow the business. I came across a business owner just a few weeks ago that’s paying $200 per month for… well, he’s not even sure what for! It’s a four-page site with identical, duplicate content on multiple pages, no metadata whatsoever, nothing compelling the user to reach out. This guy has more faith in telemarketing, and he talked about missing the Yellow Pages days! That’s not nostalgia. That’s what happens when small business owners trust in a scam industry.

The frustrating truth

Basic SEO for a small business is not magic. It’s not even that complicated. And that’s what makes this so frustrating. The fundamentals are simple:

• Accessibility
• Compelling content
• On-page keywords and phrases used naturally
• An exceptional (painless) user experience
• Carefully crafted title tags and meta description tags

That’s it. No smoke, no mirrors, no Johnson rods. It’s not about the tech—it’s about the content and the user experience (UX).

A lot of business owners assume they’re paying for something deeply technical. Something only specialists can understand. But for local service businesses, the biggest wins usually come from:

• Better writing
• Clearer structure
• More useful information

Not flashy design. Not complex code. Just clarity.

Why good advice gets ignored

Here’s the part that stuck with me in that last experience: When I suggested a few simple improvements—things that could actually help him show up for real searches—he shut it down. Not rudely. Just… dismissively. Why? Because he’s heard it all before… Too many pitches, too many promises, too much noise he didn’t understand. At some point, everything starts to sound like bullshit—even when it isn’t. And in that particular rushed situation, I wasn’t about to punish him with my resume.

A quick way to tell if you’re getting ripped off

You don’t need to understand SEO to spot bad SEO. Ask yourself:

• Are you ranking for product or service searches in your area, and not just for your business name?
• Has your website generated many phone calls or form submissions?
• Does your site contant actual, userful descriptions of your products or services?
• Does your site clearly mention where you operate?
• Can your SEO provider explain what they physically did last month—in plain English?

If the answer is mostly “no,” something’s off.

The bottom line

SEO isn’t dead. But trust in SEO? That’s on life support. And until more people call this stuff out, small business owners are going to keep paying for results they were already getting for free.

If you’re not sure what you’re paying for, we’ll give you a straight answer. No jargon. No scare tactics. No Johnson rods! We’ll tell you what’s working, what isn’t, and what’s worth fixing. Done like dinner. And yes, Firefly is part of that 10%.

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